You might think from the title of this post that my kids have been up to more than their usual share of mischief making - typed even as I hear the boys getting ready for bed upstairs with more than the expected level of thumping, banging and raised voices, after being told quite specifically to be quiet and non-silly as their little sisters are already settled into bed!!!! Oh brother! Boys have sewn on ears - I am sure of it!
Anyhow...
Anyhow...this is my musings on the way life throws us curve balls, and fast balls, and hard balls, and so many different sized balls that we can barely think, let alone dodge some of the more harmless ones headed our way.
Since October I have dodged a few odd shaped balls but have also suffered a full on assault that took my breath away.
The biggest, and most painful being that my sweet mother died on November 9th at lunchtime. She lost the fight against her fourth aggressive cancer attack in the Oamaru hospital with me and my dear Dad by her side. If I could share that event in such a way that would adequately describe the depth of feelings I experienced, the thoughts that ran around my head, and the painful happiness that tugged at my heart, then I might start to try...but words fail me, and my heart interferes, and it generally becomes a bit sacred to me. She was my Mum...I miss her crazily...enough said.
A few of the other little curve balls include my 39th birthday...only significant in the fact that 40 looms but one year away, and I had grand intentions of achieving quite a few things before that number reared its ugly head. Maybe I'll list them here some other day...maybe!
I find myself at times in very philosophical frames of mind, and have to actually kick start the "just get on with it" button. Not because I'm unmotivated, but more because I sense change is on the horizon, and I'm unsure as yet whether or not I a) want the changes, b) can handle the changes, or c) even anticipate what the changes are.
Balls are in the air - dodge, catch or take it to the body?
Some of the good craziness that has been going on - yes there are some positives - is that by driving to Mum's funeral with no oil in my car (that is a whole miracle story right there!), I now have a lovely 2004 Honda Stream Absolute; red, and sleek, and sassy, yet still spacious enough to hold our family of 6! Thanks to my darling husband who still manages to surprise me with his love and generosity after nearly 15 years of marriage!!
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Since writing the top part of this post life has thrown quite a few more dirty curve balls! 8 months almost to the day after my sweet mummy died my dear daddy also said goodbye to the world after finding out he too had the dreaded C. Such calm, courage and collected contemplation in the face of grief and dying I have never witnessed. He was my first hero.
I am also back to "work-widow" status, with my darling Husband back in the North Island on a weekly basis. That brings a few body shots with it - particularly from my little ones and their own longing for their male parent.
My biggest little one has almost completed his first year at College. Eeek - how is that possible!? It seems barely a few years ago that I was taking him to primary school for the first time. He is handsome and so grown up in his uniform, and becoming more so in his daily life. Stop growing my son - but become the best man you can be!
I also hit that foreseen, but not anxiously anticipated hurdle, of my 40th birthday. I am officially middle aged! ;-)
I still "feel" about 23 so I guess it ain't all bad!
More changes to come! I've been through the key changes to the morbid minor (thank you Angela of Striking Keys for that analogy and the inspiration to actually post this monologue on life) so hopefully the key changes to come will be to brighter, happier tones.
Whatever the case, embrace it and carry on and learn what you can on the way.
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